I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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