i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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