come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
