We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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