i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
