so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
