She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
