I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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