On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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