I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
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We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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