Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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