What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
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We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize