so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
