Do you still have your period?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
love makes seman taste better
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
