You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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