Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize