i think my tv is drunk
so that wasnt chicken after all
My balls are so social today.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
