is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
