he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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