someone get that fucking seahorse.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
