so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
