oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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