god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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