You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Ketchup is God's man juice
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize