You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
