dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot