I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite