he shaved USA in his pubs
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
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Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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