I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We talked him into tasing himself.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
