Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
