and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
