He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
