I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
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he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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