So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
