you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
