she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
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These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
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so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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