I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize