just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
