Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
