how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
