yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
