Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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