i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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