The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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