i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
