Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
