So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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