you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There's always time for handjobs
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
