got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
