I feel great
I just peed on a car
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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