do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There r osticjed everywhere
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
