Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
