guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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