I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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