I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
