She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
