i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
