I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
