I'm jealous of your bromance
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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