so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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